Our Trio

   We're already a little crowded in our relationship, a trio where a duo should be. We're already getting clausterphobic here, too close for comfort for any of us. So tell me, why am I feeling so alone?
   These circumstances are anything but normal, and no one can really help. These trials are unique to us, no counsel can possible soothe our pains. Only we could sort this out, if only we knew how. There's no roadmap or playbook though, seems like we're on our own.
   I don't want this anymore--I'm tired of being confused. I hate watching him hurt, but I want nothing but to be with you. I love him like family, but I'm in love with you. I can't possibly choose between hurting you by satiating him, or hurting him to keep you content. It's hurting me to go through all this, but suffering my pain seems to be the most fair option.
   I want you. I want to keep being best friends with him. I can't talk to you or risk killing you. I can't talk to him or risk killing all three of us. But keeping all this inside is killing me too. I'm all alone in our crowded relationship, scared and ever so confused.

Love, Lilah Belle

The Hourglass

  

   I once dreamed of an hourglass. It was the most beautiful piece of work I have ever seen. The blown glass was like two smooth, glimmering orbs connected by a narrow waist and the sand glittered like a million diamonds. It was so beautiful, in fact, that even witnessing such a beautiful piece of work made me blissfully happy, bringing tears of joy to my eyes.
   I stood and gazed at the masterpiece for a long while, relishing in learning its finer points and details. For so long, in fact, that almost the entire heaping mass of sand has cascaded from the upper bulb into the lower.      
   The time, I found, had almost run out.
   Suddenly, I was struck with a strong desire to save the hourglass I had come to love. I needed to replenish the time in order to continue admiring the magnificent piece. So, I tried to lift it to turn it over and refresh it.
But being the weakling I am, I found that it was too heavy for me to lift. I struggled with it with all my might, heaving with everything I had, and still it would not budge. I grew more desperate with each passing second, as each grain of sand fell to join the growing dune at the bottom.
   I was running out of time.
   Frantically, I ran, searching for help with my compulsive need to save my newfound love. Conveniently, you were the first person I saw. I tried and tried to get you to come back with me, to fall in love with the hourglass too and help me save it. I begged and pleaded with you, pulling your hand to get you to follow me.
   Except you were too caught up in his own little world to help me. In fact, you didn’t notice me at all. You haven’t for a long time anyway.
   The supply of sand was dwindling, I knew. I cried out exasperatedly, begging you to please notice me. But you don't. You just keep talking to someone else, like I’m not even there.
   I screamed, but still didn’t wake. You see, this isn’t a nightmare at all- it is real. We're are running out of time and you can’t even help me to replenish our hourglass. Honestly, you don’t even know I’m there anymore.

Love, Lilah Belle

Rainstorm

   The soft breeze, charged with the smooth chill of the coming storm, reached my face. It blows back a few tendrils of hair, lifting them off my shoulders in a graceful dance. The sky is steel and dim, sheathed in a soft veil of clouds. The light that filters through the storm is soft as the scarf at my throat.
I shiver in the gentle of the October air, feeling the miserability of the coming autumn. I hear only the sound of leaves crashing together in the breeze and the echo of my own heart beat. Each breath I drag into my lungs tastes of rain that has yet to fall.
   I fall back onto the grass, gazing up at the silvery sky, just waiting for it to begin. I wait for the downpour to pound upon me, to wash away all the regrets I have formed. I lay in wait for the sky to open up and send down it’s acknowledgement of the ache within me. But, as the clock glides along it’s circular path, relief does not come.
   The sky stares down at me sorrowfully, like it wants nothing more than to oblige me. But it doesn’t. Not a single droplet falls.
   Weakly, I raise myself once more. I sit up, and the breeze once again brushes it’s freezing fingers across my face. I feel my nose go numb and the curls that had cascaded over my shoulders brush back in a slow waltz. Then I feel it.
   The single drop on my cheek. I note, however, that the clouds were not the one who released it, but my eye. I sit there, the first tear running down my face, and feel the rainstorm begin.

--Lilah Belle

Suddenly Three

   This isn't supposed to feel like this, it isn't supposed to feel so wrong. Wrapped in your arms, everything is supposed to feel at peace. The whole world is supposed to be right, once it was even perfect here. But now, things just aren't quite right.
   His eyes rest upon us, and I simply can't focus in your gaze. His sorrow radiates beside us, and the bliss can no longer overcome me now. I close my eyes to kiss you, but I can still see his sad face behind my closed lids. Our lips meet and tongues dance, but my mind can't zero in on the perpetual joy between us, it stays with him; feels his pain. I feel like I'm betraying you, but it's all completely involuntary.
   It isn't right, and it's killing me slowly. This is supposed to be just you and I, this relationship made for two. So then why, why, why are we so crowded? Why are we suddenly three, instead of you and me?


Love, Lilah Belle